Sunday, July 3, 2011
Get into: Crowbar
i'm drunk at 4 am and nothing's meant as much to me as this song. don't let it be like this. don't become this. don't become the sort of person who writes things drunk at 4 am, because there's never a good way to do that. it won't lead to anything good. it won't make you feel better about anything, it won't make you feel any smarter or better. you won't feel like an artist. you'll feel like a drunk at 4 am with a dying father and a life full of regrets.
(don't become this. don't be like this. be something else.)
i've listened to crowbar for a lot of years and this is probably the most important song they've ever done. it's about drug addiction but it's really about everything. no matter who you are or where you are in life this song will make sense because, if you're reading this, you're as much of an irrelevant piece of shit as me. ultimately, this won't matter, nor will anything else i write. still, you should listen to this.
(be better. be stronger. be something important.)
succeed. treat people well. be something. make something of yourself. summon up all that potential you were ascribed when you were a kid. it was bullshit potential- they told you that you were good at things, that you were smarter, faster, stronger than others, and that was all a lie, but the only way to survive is to pretend that all those things are true. you might be a 4 am drunk like me but you'll have consistency behind you, which is more than i have.
(try. try harder. fail. try again, no matter what. be something.)
crowbar is music for 50 year old alcoholics who have been working in steel mills for 3/5 of their lives. i'm not that so it's bullshit that i listen to this. i'm a hipster and you should be disgusted with me. good; it means you're doing something right. but listen to the song above even though i'm ultimately useless and even though nothing i can say will be important compared to that. it's the only thing that matters. i promise.
(even if you fail you can go to sleep and have another day. don't give up.)
if you're reading this there's a good chance that you're 16 and you think you're above songs like this one, but i promise you that there's going to come a time in your life where they're important. there's going to be a time when you need to listen to crowbar to survive. there's going to be a time to start over. i'm not trying to encourage you so much as tell you what things really are. there's always a chance to start over. there's always a chance to be better. and even though there's going to be days (fuck knows i've had enough of them) where you're not going to feel like anything will change, like you'll be anything, like anyone will love you, like anything matters, it will happen, because time passes and everything changes. and if you have to lie to yourself to get there, it's okay. i lie to myself a lot to get through the day. sometimes i have to tell myself that being drunk at 4 am won't mean much the next day. i know that it does, and i know that it reflects on me, and i know that it makes me pathetic. but it only makes me pathetic for that one moment. tomorrow, i can get up again. tomorrow, i can do better. tomorrow, i can be something. tomorrow, you can be something. tomorrow, we might die trying, but we'll be something other than today.