Saturday, June 4, 2011

Dave Mustaine's tedious autobiography exists


Ugh.

Apparently this is a real thing. I was skimming through Blabbermouth for reasons I can't fully explain when I ran across this tidbit. Apparently Mustaine's book is getting released as a paperback, not just getting released in general. The hardcover has already happened! It goes without saying that if you ever find a hardcover copy of Dave Fucking Mustaine's autobiography on someone's bookshelf, burning down their home is a completely reasonable response. I want to be surprised that something like this is actually being read by people in the real world, but I'm far too jaded to deny it anymore. It's a hideous mockery of the written word, I'm sure.

In metal, a scene which ostensibly has a lot of its roots in the DIY philosophy espoused by punk, we sure are addicted to forming relentless cults of personality around larger-than-life celebrity types like Mustaine. Now metal's also an elitist genre, so I can see people revering, say, Varg Vikernes, Tom Warrior, people like those, but fucking Dave Mustaine? A man whose entire contribution to the musical world has been terrible thrash albums that shouldn't be listened to after one enters puberty? Someone who's been repeatedly proven so hypocritical, so anti-metal, and so agonizingly self-righteous and egotistical? This is one of our heroes?

Well, he's not mine, and it disgusts me to think that people like Mustaine actually form the face of heavy metal to a great number of people. I can only imagine what the book contains (since I'm not going to be reading it), but I can guess a few: tedious, half-remembered stories of drug and alcohol abuse, self-loathing manifested through rage at Metallica, and an obsessive retconning of the past in favor of something which portrays himself in a more sympathetic light. Dave Mustaine is basically metal's James Frey, but people still take him seriously because his position in the oldschool thrash scene is actually quite similar to Oprah's Book Club.

I guess what really impresses me is that he's still able to pull stunts like these when everyone in the metal scene hates him. Seriously, I haven't run into a single person who thinks that Dave Mustaine is an interesting, intelligent, or even good person. So who's buying this book? I know it's none of you reading this blog of all things, but tell me, have you ever encountered a FAN of Mustaine's?

8 comments:

  1. word. if you want an old school heavy metal hero who is also (i believe) a christian, go with wino.

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  2. I got a 20 yr old half brother who's 'into metal' and won't listen to Sabbath because Ozzy is "That prick off the telly"... Rust in Peace tore my fucking face off when it came out and there no amount of dickness from Mustaine that will ever take that away from me... (ditto Danzig, ditto everyfuckingband ever)...

    And as with the Ozzy thing, I feel sorry for anyone who has to wade through the bullshit before getting to the music - same shit happens to me with Zep, can't dig them through my loathing of Page after reading Hammer etc

    What about the 'betrayal' of Araya's Catholicism?

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  3. Araya's Catholicism doesn't result in him kicking bands off shows he's playing at. Mustaine's retarded version of Christianity does.

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  4. also, as Christianity goes, Catholicism is metal as fuck... i mean, so much black metal imagery (grotesque drawings of christ getting his ass kicked, etc) coulda come straight off a medieval altarpiece...

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  5. Ha - yeah, transubstiantation is pretty fucking metal, and those gory far-too-lifelike crucifixes are cool too... But I'm seeing it more as him happily spouting blasphemies he doesn't agree with in return for a pay check... (full disclosure, I don't really listen to Slayer that much these days, but South Of Heaven was massive for me many years back)

    And seeing as we're running with it, I'll go one better with Araya - I'm pretty sure I remember reading an interview with him back in the 90s where he made a vocal defense of Pinochet's rule in Chile...

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  6. oof! that is even weirder given that, even by South of Heaven, Slayer were evolving into this kind of socially conscious, antiwar left-wing band. no question that slayer are just cashing in now, but i think it'd be even stupider of araya to NOT sing his old lyrics.

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  7. Your google add box is reading "Mother, Artist, Mormon" right now. I blame that prick Mustaine.

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  8. Super-late to this, I know, but I just thought of something. Wouldn't the album art for Deicide's The Stench Of Redemption be much more interesting if it was simply a then-current picture of Mustaine? In fact, in my media player, I just changed the album art to that picture of Dave on his autobiography. It may be childish, but I'm cracking up at the moment.

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